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| Lookin more and more like a lil kid, but always my baby! |
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Baby Steps...
While we were helping to hold her up and with DAFO in place, Annabelle took a step all on her own the other day. Then she picked up her left foot and stepped forward without the DAFO and all on her own this evening. We are so proud and so much more hopeful that although it's going to take a lot of work and it's gonna be slow coming, she will walk... and all on her own :-D
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I just want a JOB!
So residency is coming to a close in a few short months- good in that my soul no longer belongs to residency (ok, it hasn't been that bad but I'm done with 80-hr work weeks and 30-hr shifts with no sleepy time). Not so good in that I don't have a job in place yet and as my sweet hubby put it, he brings home the bread while I bring home the bacon... and our medical insurance.
I did have an interview this morning with a great group that I'd love to join, my only concern is it's 40min away, not ideal. The hubs and I have some talking to do because I have contacted other groups and it seems like very few are hiring, or at least hiring a straight up pediatrician, sigh.... He doesn't want to move, I don't really want to move but would consider it if we're going to be here for a while more, our current daycare is near both of our works right now and not so much this clinic, I wouldn't want to have a nanny home with Annabelle while I'm 40min away, I love our area and our neighbors although the area around the clinic is wicked cute, sigh again... I wish I knew what to do and I wish I could just have a job! I do not like all these big girl "adult" decision I need to be making :-P
On a happy and less anxiety provking note, Annabelle Bananabelle is getting used to her orthotics and is stand quite well. Still needs lotsa support but is more stable, putting weight on her left foot (YaY!) and actually allowing us to move her legs in a walking motion. And walking forward even seems to be easier than us trying to move her legs in a cruising along furniture fashion.
I did have an interview this morning with a great group that I'd love to join, my only concern is it's 40min away, not ideal. The hubs and I have some talking to do because I have contacted other groups and it seems like very few are hiring, or at least hiring a straight up pediatrician, sigh.... He doesn't want to move, I don't really want to move but would consider it if we're going to be here for a while more, our current daycare is near both of our works right now and not so much this clinic, I wouldn't want to have a nanny home with Annabelle while I'm 40min away, I love our area and our neighbors although the area around the clinic is wicked cute, sigh again... I wish I knew what to do and I wish I could just have a job! I do not like all these big girl "adult" decision I need to be making :-P
On a happy and less anxiety provking note, Annabelle Bananabelle is getting used to her orthotics and is stand quite well. Still needs lotsa support but is more stable, putting weight on her left foot (YaY!) and actually allowing us to move her legs in a walking motion. And walking forward even seems to be easier than us trying to move her legs in a cruising along furniture fashion.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Long time
It's been a long time since I have written anything- I tried a few times and my computer was being stupid. Then every time I wanted to write something it was about my negative feelings and being in the dumps and I didn't want to post that much negativity...
So happy things :-D Annabelle is doing so awesome. She is still working hard with her therapies at home and started some PT in addition to OT. She started rolling over on her own and now gets allllll over the place that way and gets into things that way! She also started doing some sort of army crawling that has resulted in forward movement on her belly- when she first started it was hilarious to watch, she looked like a fish out of water, rolling onto her left "bad" side and launching off of that. She's becoming more coordinated and expending less energy to get around that way, which is good, but will still default to the easier rolling if we're not forcing it on her.
She's also pulling up to a stand off of a "seated bench" position. She likes to fall to the left because of the weakness and refusal to use her left hand (improving though! She'll put some weight on it now). We just got her a DAFO for her left b/c she puts all her weight on her heel and inverts at the ankle. She got some super cute sparkly pink sneakers to match and fit over the orthotic too. We tried it out yesterday and she seemed a lot more stable standing with it on. It also made it easier to make her cruise along the table (she won't do it on her own, we move her legs, but I think she's more comfortable with us doing that now)
My hopes for the next few months are improved mobility- I know she's far from walking on her own but she'll get there, I'd love for her army crawl to be even more efficent. I'd also love for her to be more stable just standing on her own, we'll see. My other goal is increased communication. I'd perfer in the verbal form but I'll take what we can get. She can sign a little bit which is fabulous (not even a year old yet!) and she says "head". I want to hear "mama" and in the correct context :-) Her PT is a bit more ambitious than I am, she wants Annabelle crawling up the stairs by September, I'll hope and work towards it of course but I'm skeptical.
First birthday is coming, I'm going nuts with it and having so much fun!
So happy things :-D Annabelle is doing so awesome. She is still working hard with her therapies at home and started some PT in addition to OT. She started rolling over on her own and now gets allllll over the place that way and gets into things that way! She also started doing some sort of army crawling that has resulted in forward movement on her belly- when she first started it was hilarious to watch, she looked like a fish out of water, rolling onto her left "bad" side and launching off of that. She's becoming more coordinated and expending less energy to get around that way, which is good, but will still default to the easier rolling if we're not forcing it on her.
She's also pulling up to a stand off of a "seated bench" position. She likes to fall to the left because of the weakness and refusal to use her left hand (improving though! She'll put some weight on it now). We just got her a DAFO for her left b/c she puts all her weight on her heel and inverts at the ankle. She got some super cute sparkly pink sneakers to match and fit over the orthotic too. We tried it out yesterday and she seemed a lot more stable standing with it on. It also made it easier to make her cruise along the table (she won't do it on her own, we move her legs, but I think she's more comfortable with us doing that now)
My hopes for the next few months are improved mobility- I know she's far from walking on her own but she'll get there, I'd love for her army crawl to be even more efficent. I'd also love for her to be more stable just standing on her own, we'll see. My other goal is increased communication. I'd perfer in the verbal form but I'll take what we can get. She can sign a little bit which is fabulous (not even a year old yet!) and she says "head". I want to hear "mama" and in the correct context :-) Her PT is a bit more ambitious than I am, she wants Annabelle crawling up the stairs by September, I'll hope and work towards it of course but I'm skeptical.
First birthday is coming, I'm going nuts with it and having so much fun!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
No Shunt!!!!!
Neurosurgery appt today- I was allllll prepped for the doc to set a date to have Annabelle's VP shunt placed. When I was working in clinic the other day I plotted out her most recent head size that I had measured and she was continuing to grow away from her curve. So I tried to mentally prepare and was *sure* it was going to happen.
At the visit today the nurse got the same measurements I had but when they plotted it out she was leveling off and not moving any farther away from the curve, although she is big (duh). I think they must use a different graph than the one we're using in clinic. Neurosurgeon said no shunt, no scan at this point and don't come back til summer!!!!
I was/ am thrilled, I cried a few tears of joy and spread the news throughout the hospital (and Internet). What was weird was the way I felt a few hours later. Once the thought settled a bit I got neurotic again- What if they should be using our graphing system rather than the one they have, what if he's wrong and there's still a lot of pressure, am I doing more damage by just going along, am I not giving her the best chance she has.... and on and on and on, ugh it's exhausting.
Needless to say, while I'm thrilled and oh so happy I'm going to ask her regular doc's opinion and see if she wants to verbally run Annabelle's case by another surgeon as a quasi "second opinion." I'd do it but I also work there and don't want to rock any boats, oh the politics in medicine and how well we all play the game ::::eye roll::::
On further happy notes- she continues to do well developmentally, although starting to fall behind cognitively too (gross motor is always gonna be slow but whatever w/ that, we do therapy) she's still plowing ahead and doing well. And the hubs and I are going for a couples massage tomorrow morning for our anniversary and then a fancy shamncy dinner the next night :-D YaY for adult romantic time!!!!
At the visit today the nurse got the same measurements I had but when they plotted it out she was leveling off and not moving any farther away from the curve, although she is big (duh). I think they must use a different graph than the one we're using in clinic. Neurosurgeon said no shunt, no scan at this point and don't come back til summer!!!!
I was/ am thrilled, I cried a few tears of joy and spread the news throughout the hospital (and Internet). What was weird was the way I felt a few hours later. Once the thought settled a bit I got neurotic again- What if they should be using our graphing system rather than the one they have, what if he's wrong and there's still a lot of pressure, am I doing more damage by just going along, am I not giving her the best chance she has.... and on and on and on, ugh it's exhausting.
Needless to say, while I'm thrilled and oh so happy I'm going to ask her regular doc's opinion and see if she wants to verbally run Annabelle's case by another surgeon as a quasi "second opinion." I'd do it but I also work there and don't want to rock any boats, oh the politics in medicine and how well we all play the game ::::eye roll::::
On further happy notes- she continues to do well developmentally, although starting to fall behind cognitively too (gross motor is always gonna be slow but whatever w/ that, we do therapy) she's still plowing ahead and doing well. And the hubs and I are going for a couples massage tomorrow morning for our anniversary and then a fancy shamncy dinner the next night :-D YaY for adult romantic time!!!!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tired
There may already be a similar post :-) seems to be a theme for me! Over the last month I worked the inpatient floor which I like a lot but it's long hours and hard work. Christmas came (on the 26th for us since I was working) and was wonderful. Annabelle had a blast ripping paper and sticking it in her mouth! She was such a good girl the second part of this year that santa really spoiled her and she had to take lil nap break in the middle of opening all her presents.... all of course carefully selected to help in one area of therapy or another ;-) that sneaky santa. The new year was fun too, I had new year's eve off. We watched the east coast ball drop (10p our time) and I called it a night, haha how cool am I?
Now I'm working the NICU which is a call month which kinda sucks 'cause I'm away from the fam for at least 24-hrs then need to sleep for at least a few hours so I'm away for a few more. I also have some PTSD or something from our birth. Not so much because Annabelle was in the NICU, she was only there for a half of a day, but seeing the families like we were- expecting a healthy beautiful new baby to take home to have all that shattered. See their hurt just takes me back and I tend to have the constant knot in the pit of my stomach again (it was starting to only be there once in a while, bah).
Only 2 weeks left though, then it's on to a string of easier rotations! And other things to look forward to- our 5-year wedding anniversary and we already have a sitter, vacation to the grand canyon, time to look for a job (eek! more stress), and annabelle's first birthday- yes I'm already planning!!!!
One last thing, we have 2 "toofies" :-D YaY annabelle! growing up so fast!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Bragging
Just a lil bragging to do from yesterday :-) first off I got a whole TWO DAYS off this weekend.... woohoo!!! (still doesnt make up for working xmas eve or xmas morning but whatever) So yesterday afternoon the hubs and I got to spend a long time playing with annabelle and getting some good therapy time in (since it was afternoon time and not the evening she wasnt tired and could do a lot more). Here is what we saw and heard her doing yesterday.
- grabbed a rattle with her left hand and put it toward her mouth.
- sat up all on her own for a prolonged period of time
- caught herself with her left hand as she started to tip over while sitting up
- grabbed a rattle with her left hand and put it toward her mouth.
- sat up all on her own for a prolonged period of time
- caught herself with her left hand as she started to tip over while sitting up
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| Puffs on the Nose!!! |
- Grabbed her own puffs, mostly raking but twice she used a pincer grasp (may have been coincidentally but she did it twice) and got some right into her own mouth!!!
- NEW SOUNDS!!!!- gaga, kind of a caca and ::::drum roll::::: dada. Still no mama but I of course will take the dada. And she is going Mmmmmm when she eats solids (she's too funny). That was a great relief for me 'cause I had just been thinking over the past week how we had not had many new sounds in a while ::::sigh of relief::::
For our second day there is football to be watched, GO BILLS! xmas cookies to finish and more cuddling! I love full weekends off!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Work
I guess I'm still really dealing with some jealousy issues and dealing with the unknown of the future. I saw a beautiful 12mos old girl today for her well child check, she looks similar to Annabelle, very smiley and walking all over the place. She's also got a TON of words for a one year old and even more signs.... sigh. I love my baby and I am thrilled with everything she has done so far 'cause it's honestly more than I really expected but I know she's going to be slow to walk and talk (although I think she'll get there!) and it's particularly hard for me some days when "normal" is all up in my face... I mean it's my job to look over a kiddo, most of which are thankfully typical, and watch them and pick out the not so "normal".
A few months ago when I was working in the emergency dept. I seriously considered dropping from my residency (one lil year left to go and $170,000 in school loans and yep I was gonna do it). One reason was all the "normal" I was seeing would bother me and then seeing all the "not so normal" and the kids who were severely delayed would bother me too... I would wonder if that is our future- feeding tubes, wheel chairs, splints, recurrent visits to the hospital; or perhaps something a bit milder? It also bugged me that there was never a shortage of "shunt kids" in with headaches, or vomiting or fevers. With them I would also wonder if all of that would be in our futures (and it's looking like it more and more unfortunately).
It's the unknown that drives me nuts. I know all the possibilities for where we could end up, some more likely than others, and I HATE not knowing. I have an information overload, I know too much. I sometimes wish I had gone into radiology or pathology or something like that where I would not know all the details of the stuff I know....ugh! In the end I obviously didn't drop out, that would be financially irresponsible, and as of today I've got 6 more months before I'm done :-) I know I still need to work on being happy just with what we end up with development-wise, it's just hard to that sometimes.
A few months ago when I was working in the emergency dept. I seriously considered dropping from my residency (one lil year left to go and $170,000 in school loans and yep I was gonna do it). One reason was all the "normal" I was seeing would bother me and then seeing all the "not so normal" and the kids who were severely delayed would bother me too... I would wonder if that is our future- feeding tubes, wheel chairs, splints, recurrent visits to the hospital; or perhaps something a bit milder? It also bugged me that there was never a shortage of "shunt kids" in with headaches, or vomiting or fevers. With them I would also wonder if all of that would be in our futures (and it's looking like it more and more unfortunately).
It's the unknown that drives me nuts. I know all the possibilities for where we could end up, some more likely than others, and I HATE not knowing. I have an information overload, I know too much. I sometimes wish I had gone into radiology or pathology or something like that where I would not know all the details of the stuff I know....ugh! In the end I obviously didn't drop out, that would be financially irresponsible, and as of today I've got 6 more months before I'm done :-) I know I still need to work on being happy just with what we end up with development-wise, it's just hard to that sometimes.
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